just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
