he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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