the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
