I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish you could order shots online.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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