if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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