i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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