I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
