There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
4 words: hood of his car
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
