To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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