My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
