Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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