fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
