but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
