I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
