Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
