im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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