i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
barbara walters just said penis...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
