all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
