Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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