I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
