Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
