can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
