I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
