Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
