he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We talked him into tasing himself.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
