i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
