you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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