She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
