is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
