YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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