If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
