she was so not down for the gang bang
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The Olympian is in my bed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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