Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
