My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
