i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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