i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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