She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
