Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
