You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
