So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
