Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
