she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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