i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
