I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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