Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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