how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
