She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
