i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
