If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
