apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
